Labarin soyyaya mai ban dariya

 Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya na farko.

Sunana Mariya Maude wannan shine karon farko da zamu haɗu da wani gaye wanda muka jima muna chatting a WhatsApp, a lokacin kuwa ina mura saboda sanyi ya kamani sosai. Bayan mun haɗu sai muka shirya zuwa wurin wani gidan abinci mai kyau, a yayin da muke cin abincinmu, sai nayi atishawa - anan take wata majina ta fito daga hancina! Haka dai nayi tsalle da sauri cikin ƙarfin hali, na fito da gudu na nufi banɗaki tare da rufe fuskata. Bayan haka, mutumin bai sake neman zuwa ko'ina tare dani ba. A lokacin na muzanta sosai yanzu kuwa idan na tuna abin daya faru nakanyi dariya. 

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Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya (2)

A bara, lokacin da na fara jinin al'adata ta farko, Biggie, sunan wani masoyina da nake so matuƙa ya sanar dani cewa shi da wani abokinsa Sani Nigga zasu zo gidanmu don kallon fina-finai. A gidanmu muna da wata sabuwar kyanwa kuma, kwanan nan aka kawota. Wannan kyanwar tana son fitar da abubuwa daga cikin shara ta barbazasu. Muna cikin kallon fim ɗin sai ta shigo falo ta yar da wani abu a cinyar masoyin nan nawa. Kallon kyanwar yayi sannan ya kalli abinda ta yar akan cinyar tasa, sannan ya zabura ya ce, 'Kai! Ina dubawa kawai ba sai naga ɗaya daga cikin fakitin audugar dana yi amfani dasu bane! Ɗauka nayi na jefar da shi da sauri, amma fa ana gama fim ɗin nan, Biggie shi da abokinsa Sani Nigga suka tafi da sauri. Babu wani abu ɗaya mai armashi daya ƙara faruwa da wannan dangantakar!"

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Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya (3)

Ni mimi muna tare da gungun ƙawaye da abokaina, har da wanda nake so a cikin su, amma fa bai san ina sonsa ba, gaɓa ɗayanmu munje kallon fim ne a sinima. Da muka shiga siniman nan aka zauna kowa ya haɗu sai aka ɗauke wuta kafin a saka fim ɗin, duhu kuma ya mamaye cikin sinimar nan, can sai naji wani abu ya fara yi mini motsi, naji an riƙe hannuna ƙam. Sannan kuma naji an ruƙunƙume ni, jikin wanda ya riƙenin nan sai kyarmar tsoro yake, ragowar ƙawaye da abokanmu duk basu san halin da ake ciki ba, ana cikin haka kuwa ai sai aka dawo da wuta kowa ya juyo yana kallon yadda gayen nan dake matuƙar burge ni kuma wanda nake so ɗin nan ya ruƙunƙume ni jikinsa duk ya jiƙe da zufar tsoro, haba ai sai aka kwashe da dariya gabaki ɗaya. Gayen nan yayi sauri ya fice daga cikin silimar yana jin kunya. Ashe ni bansani ba ƙatoton motsoraci ne shi ba, har aka fara kallon fim mutane basu bar dariya ba. 

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Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya (4)

Saurayina yana zuwa gidan adana kayan tarihi na yara tare da ƙaninsa, ranar nan sai yace muje tare, ban ji daɗin hakan ba, amma yaya na iya, tunda har ya dage lallai yana son naje don haka na amince. Amma da muka je gidan kayan tarihin muka fara dubawa muna kallo, Baje kolin, a zahiri sai ya zama wani abin ban sha'awa, akwai wani game na pyramids, kuma yana da wata ƙatuwar maze, watau ƴaƴan aljanu na wasa, ni kuma ganin haka sai naji ina so in yiwa saurayina wasa da shi, sai nayi gaba da wannan ɗan aljanin na ɓuya, ina jira a bayan wani jirgin yara na wasa. Ina laɓe jikin bango don in fito in tsoratashi in yazo wucewa, da naji zuwansa, sai nayi tsalle nayi ihu, 'Boo!' Kwatsam sai ga wata ƙaramar yarinya ta yi kururuwa ta fara kuka, nayi tsalle na fito daga inda na ɓoye a tsorace da gudu na fita daga gidan tarihin nan, amma saurayina da ƙaninsa sun kasa daina yi mini dariyar abin nan har yau. 

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Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya (5)

“Akwai wani yaro da nake matuƙar so, ina son in faɗa masa wani abu na soyayya ta wayar tarho, sai na rubuta wata doguwar wasiƙa don karantawa da babbar murya. Wayata na ɗauko na danna masa kira naji an ɗauka. Lokacin da naji an ɗauki kiran nan, sai na fara karanta wasiƙar nan a tsorace, yayin da nake ta surutun nan ina karanta sirrin zuciyata sai naji ana hayaniya ta cikin wayar, ana hayaniya kamar wanda yake ɗauke da wayar yana magana da wani, sannan ya miƙa masa wayar, sai yaron da nake so ya katse min magana ya sanar dani cewa bafa dashi nake magana ba ɗazu, wai wata yarinya ce ta amsa wayar, duk tsawon lokacin nan ina furta soyayyata ga ƴar uwarsa!"

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Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya (6)

"Ni da saurayina mun fita tare da wasu masoyan biyu, bayan mun juyo zamu dawo akan hanyar zuwa gidanmu inda zasu saukeni, mu biyu ni da saurayina muna bayan mota muna kiss, ai sai yayi sauri ya cire fuskarsa daga tawa ya buɗe mota ya fita da sauri ya fara amai. Sai daya gama ya dawo yana nishi ya cemin wai warin miyar kukar da naci ne yasa shi a mai ! Duk suka fara dariya.. 

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Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya (7)

Sunana zuly, muna zaune a cafeteria tare da ƙawayenmu da abokai duk ƴan makaranta sai na yanke shawarar yin wani ɗan wasa da su. Duk sun san cewa ina ƙaunar wani yaro mai suna jamil, don haka na yanke shawarar gaya musu cewa muna zance da shi. Duk kansu suka zuba mini ido a gigice ina ba su labarin yadda ya kira yace yana sona. Ina zuba musu ƙaryar kullum sai jamil yazo gidanmu amma bana fitowa, labarin nan ya tsaru yayi kyau sosai duk sun bani hankulansu suna jina a dai dai sa'ad da naji wata murya a bayana tana cewa, ''To, yaushe wannan duka ya faru?'' Na juya kawai sai naga jamil, kunya ta kamani a wurin naji inama ƙasa ta buɗe na shiga ta rufeni! 

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Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya (8)

Yau ita ce ranar farko da zamu fita tun da muka fara soyayya da wani haɗɗaɗen saurayi. Muka fita cin abincin dare, muna zaune a wurin cin abincin nan, saurayin nan ya taso ya saka min wata sarƙa a wuyana, yana cemin wai mom ɗinsa ce tace yabawa masoyiyarsa ni kuma ina ta jin daɗina. Har sai daga baya a wannan daren, lokacin da abokinsa ya dawo bayan sun tafi yace min wannan sarƙar wata mata ce tayar bata sani ba akan titi shi kuma saurayin yayi sauri ya tsallako yace ya samu kyautar da zai bani. Shine ya shirga min ƙaryar nan. 

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Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya (9)

Wani yaro da nake mugun so wata rana kawai yace inzo muje kallon fim a sinima da shi da abokansa. Komai yana tafiya dai dai har mun kalli fim ɗin mun fito ina ta jin daɗi na mance dare yayi sosai, sai dana ankara kuma sai na fara jin tsoro sosai nasan babanmu zaiyi faɗa sosai. Muna tsaye a bakin titi ai kuwa sai ga motar babanmu nan ya fito nema na. Mahaifina ya tsai da motarsa sannan ya kalli wani murɗaɗɗen ƙaton mutum dake jiran bakin gate  ɗin sinima, ya tambayi mutumin ko shi ɗan kokawa ne sai mutumin yace eh yana dan taɓa wasan kokawa, sai babana ya kalle ni ya ce, 'Tana kokawa itama!' Gaba ɗaya wurin sai aka juyo ana kallona ana dariya har da yaron nan da nake mutuwar so kuwa. Duk naji wata irin kunya na zura aguje na bar wurin. 

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Labarin soyayya mai ban dariya (10)

Zuwaira ce suka yi sabon aure ita da faisal. To ita Zuwaira irin matan nan ne masu shegen cin abinci. A lokacin da take gida kafin suyi auren nan, zuwaira zata iya tada kwano uku na abinci kafin ta koshi. Idan zuwaira zata sha shayi kuwa a cikin ƙaton jug take shan sa. Idan kuma zataci biredi to babban biredi ɗaya take cinyewa ita kaɗai. Gafara! 

Haka kuma zuwaira tana iya cinye maka ƙosai kasko biyu ita kaɗai. Mijinta faisal bai san amaryar tasa muguwar consumer bace ma'ana dai bai san rumbu ya auro ba, ita kuma zuwaira tanajin kunyar mijinta yasan wannan irin mugun cin abincin da take dashi ba. Saboda haka kullum idan zasuyi break fast sai zuwaira ta haɗa musu tea a cikin ɗan ƙaramin mug watau kofin tangaran na shayi su sha da ɗan biredinsu. 

Amma da zarar mijinta faisal ya fita ya tafi aiki sai tayi sauri ta sake haɗa tea a ƙaton jug ɗin ruwa ta ɗauko ƙaton biredin da take aika almajirinta ya sayo mata, ta tasa shi a gaba sai ta tashi dashi duka sannan tayi gyatsa. Da rana ma haka takeyi, da dare ne kaɗai bata iya yin mugun cin abincin nan saboda faisal yana gida.

Ana nan rannan da safe sai zuwaira ta shirya musu break kamar yacce ta saba, suka karya daga nan faisal yace mata ya tafi. Yana fita ita kuma ta sake haɗa tea a ƙaton jug ɗinta, almajirinta ya siyo mata ƙaton biredinta ya kawo mata. A dai dai lokacin data fara ci shi kuma faisal ya dawo cikin gidan domin ɗaukan wasu takardu daya mance, kawai basai yaga yacce zuwaira matarsa take yagar biredi tana korawa da shayi a ƙaton jug ba. Sai da zuwaira ta tashi da uban shayin nan da kuma ƙaton biredi, tana ɗago kai taga mijinta faisal baki buɗe yana kallon ta !